I’ll admit. I really enjoy terrible movies as much as incredible ones. There is an odd charm to them; the wooden acting, the cheap production value, and the lackluster cinematography. It’s just a joy to watch; along with the unintended hilarity. Maybe “charm” is the wrong word to use, but I digress.
A really weird, terrible trash film that a few friends and I watched many years ago was 1313: Frankenqueen. In the movie, a bunch of male underwear models with dreams of acting, get to star as an ensemble of guys staying at a plastic surgeon’s mansion. It’s like a reverse Playboy Mansion scenario, except they’re there to undergo experimental surgeries.
So maybe we were tricked into a chick trash film, because they were literally in their underwear or board shorts for the entire movie. And the male gaze was in abundance.
There was a particular scene that nearly killed us. One of the models was asleep, and Doctor Franks — the dirty pervert that she is — sneaks in and uses a book light to scan his scantily clad body. By which I mean he was just in his underwear. (The costume department had it easy for this movie.)
I had my book and book light near me, so a friend swiftly grabbed my book light and started “scanning” me while he gave me the same weird, terrifying stare that Doctor Franks gave the sleeping underwear model.
The same shots were reused throughout the film. Repeatedly. A lot. We lost count. But hey, that makes it easy if you had to leave for a moment while the movie is on. You won’t miss anything or have to rewind. Or pause. The scene you missed will find its way back. I’m guessing this was the horror element. Maybe we were stuck in a time loop and there’s no telling if we will ever reach the end.
Ultimately, film should provoke an emotional response from you. It should captivate you on some level. It’s an art form. Trash films like 1313: Frankenqueen sparks laughter. It’s films that are so boring that they don’t pull any emotion out of you that sucks to me.
Don’t ever write off trash films.
Leave a Reply